Masturbation seems like one of those things that doesn’t need a salesman but – believe it or not – I meet people all the time who just don’t understand why people masturbate. Since May is masturbation month, what better time to highlight the best reasons to masturbate.
It’s the best part of waking up: Morning sex is known for its ability to make any day brighter. Lazy morning masturbation gives you the same benefits just with a lot less work.
For your health: Both men and women get a ton of benefits from sex. Besides pleasure, masturbation lowers guy’s risk of prostate cancer and helps ease the symptoms of PMS for women. It also helps you ward off sickness by boosting your immune system.
To reduce pain: All those chemicals that make you feel relaxed and happy also relieve pain. Masturbation, it’s safer than aspirin.
Because orgasms are grrrrrreat!: The list of things that are undeniably great it a short one: Orgasms, bacon and Morgan Freeman’s voice.
To relieve stress: Sex and orgasms are relaxing. Masturbation gives you the relaxation without having to worry about anyone else’s pleasure. It’s the real definition of no strings attached.
To get to sleep: Relaxation is great but a good night’s worth of sleep will go a long way. All those happy chemicals released at orgasm will make it easier for you to drift off into a restful slumber.
To cure boredom: I don’t know about you but I am never more entertained than when someone’s fondling my cock. When it’s me fondling myself, I’m still pretty damn entertained. Who needs an iPhone when you’ve got iCum?
To find out what turns you on: RuPaul said it best, “if you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else.” Sure, she was talking about a different type of love but I think she’d agree that self-love is important too.
It makes you sexier: The post orgasm glow is real. Well, you don’t actually glow but sex causes small changes in your face and demeanor that add to your overall sexiness. From the flushed, wanting face and comfortable, confident body language, orgasms are one amazing beauty secret.
It’s the safest sex: Unless Mr. Palm and his five sons have been cheating on you, there is no risk of catching an STI from masturbation. Assuming you didn’t dip your hand into fresh semen, there’s also no risk of greeting pregnant.
Look, all of these reasons to masturbate are great and anyone will do but there’s one reason that trumps them all.
Because you fucking feel like it: The beauty of masturbation is that it allows you to get off for any reason. The best reason is any one you goddamn well please and that is wonderful. ‘Merica!
You already know how much I love masturbation. After all the time spent spankin’ it, I’ve learned a few things. Since May is Masturbation Month, I figured it was time for me to share a bit of my masturbatory wisdom with you. We’re counting down from seven.
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