After a breakup, people do lots of things to make themselves feel better. Usually, that involves eating too much, fucking someone else or minimizing how strongly they felt for the person. Sadly, one of people’s favorite ways of making themselves feel better is by slut shaming their ex, and it’s time for that shit to stop.

We all know it’s just a cover for your insecurities

When people are insecure, they most often will deny their feelings. So, in order to make themselves feel like they didn’t lose someone special, they’ll say things like, “She was a whore.” In truth she’s probably not a whore. You probably didn’t treat her well so she left you and you have regrets. Why not just fucking say that? The slut shaming game is unoriginal, basic and boring.

If they’re dirty after being with you, you’re the one with the problem

People are so quick to say someone is dirty or gross after having sex with them. My question: If they’re dirty after you crawled up next to them, where’d the dirt come from? Since dirt doesn’t come from nowhere, clearly, it came from your trifflin’ ass. Maybe you should take a shower before you sleep with anyone else.

I’m sure they’ve got a lot of stuff to share about you, too.

For all the whore-ish things you’ll claim they did, you probably have actually done way more whore-ish (or punk-ass or fuckboy-like) stuff. While whore-ish activities aren’t negative, you probably don’t want your private details out in public, and they’re fair game once you open the door.

Because Christina Aguilera called y’all out in 2002 and you still haven’t learned.

“So he does what every little boy would do, makin' up a few false rumors or two. That for sure is not a man for me, slanderin' names for popularity. It's sad you only get your fame through controversy but now it's time for me to come and give you more to say.” She was specifically talking to dudes but the same applies to everyone else, too, no matter how you identify.

People who see you do that don’t want to date you.

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Even is your ex is the whoriest, sluttiest, most tramping tramp that has ever existed, it’s kind of classless to spend your time trying to tear them down. If they’re as bad as you say, they’ll get theirs. If they did something criminal, let the courts judge for you. When you start slinging mud, everyone gets dirty.

Your feelings are probably hurt and calling them a whore won’t fix that.

Relationships are tough and feelings get hurt sometimes; we all get it. We all also get that you have feelings that are hard to express sometimes. Even still, no amount of name-calling is going to make you feel better. It might be how you’ve done things so far but it probably hasn’t done much but make things worse for you.

Try saying that you’re sad and hurt instead of lashing out. It may make you feel like a bitch-made punk, but you’ll feel better and more confident after. Own your true feelings.