If your child walks in on you having sex, you probably have a rude ass kid

If your child walks into your bedroom without knocking and finds you in a compromising position, you have a problem — it’s just not what you probably think it is.

It doesn’t make a difference whether your door was locked or not. It doesn’t matter whether you were mid-cuckold, coitus, cuddles or cursing — the problem is essentially the same.

In truth, the harm caused to children by accidentally seeing parents in sexual situations is far overestimated. The most damaging thing about a child walking in on their parents fucking is the reaction of their parents.

If the parent jumps up and shoos the kid out of the room, they learn shame. If the parent is shocked or embarrassed, the kid will learn that sex is embarrassing. If the parent reacts with anger, the kid will learn some terrible lessons about how to deal with stress. If the kid sees it and the parent refuses to talk about it, the kid will learn they shouldn’t talk about sex, even to the people closest to them.

Instead of that route, I suggest that you simply address the problem: You have a really rude child who doesn’t know how to knock. If you can leave your kid alone for a quickie, they’re old enough to understand boundaries and basic manners.

They should know not to touch people without asking. They should know to say “please” and “thank you.” So, they should also know that when you’re in your bedroom with your door closed, they are not to open the door without knocking and waiting to be permitted to enter.

Usually, when kids interrupt a bunch of adults talking about adult things, they’re simply told to stay in their lane. “We are having a conversation, it’s rude for you to interrupt,” we’d tell them. This isn’t that different.

If they walk in and ask what’s going on, simply say something like, “We can talk about that later, but right now, I’m going to need you to go back outside, close the door and knock.”

If they walk in and say nothing, try, “Wow, that was really rude of you to open my door like that. I respect your space and knock before entering; I expect the same from you.”

If they walk in and react with disgust, try, “The only thing gross in this room is your disgusting manners. Go back out the door, knock and wait until I say you can come in.”

These types of responses diffuse the situation and can replace the shock of seeing you with a bit of shame over being rude by walking in. It also gives you a minute to gather your thoughts — and clothes, if needed. Then, you should be able to feel out your kid to know what they need to know — or at least answer their questions — with more comfort.


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