self improvement

How to write your personal user manual

5 easy ways you can support LTASEX and make the world a sexier place. 


 

It’s pretty much a universal truth that life is hard. In fact, just living life in a body is hard. The fact that this shit didn’t come with a user manual is a cosmic joke. Luckily, you don’t have to be the butt of that joke anymore.

As a person who has depression, anxiety, panic attacks and impulse control problems, I’ve been looking for a user manual for years. Recently, I stopped looking and decided to write the damn thing myself. It turned out to be an unparalleled resource. So, I wanted to share it with you.

 

Personal User Manual Instructions:

The purpose of this form is to lay out instructions for how to live your best life. Don’t be afraid to think on a question and come back to it. Skip any section that doesn’t apply to you.

For this to work properly, you must be honest and vulnerable. This is your instruction manual for yourself; you don’t have to share it with anyone. Yet I would suggest that someone in your life should have this, too, so you’re not the only one who knows.

If you have a partner or best friend, filling this out together can be a very intimate experience. This manual may be useful to your doctors, therapists or other professionals.

The Personal User Manual is a living document. Feel free to add/remove or change any part of your answers at will. If you’re working with an old playbook it won’t be as effective, but it’s important to know where you’ve been. Revisiting how you used to live or what used to work can be very helpful.

If you’re ever confused about a question, just answer it in whatever way you think is correct. If you have any suggestions about ways to make this better let me know: Jerome@ltasex.info

 

Critical Info

Name:

DOB:

Medications:

Diagnosed conditions:

Allergies:

ICE contact(s):

Primary care physician:

Therapist:

On a scale of 0 (terminal) to 10 (perfect) my health is:

Diagnosed conditions:

Potential undiagnosed conditions/symptoms:

Medication(s):

Allergies:

My health makes it difficult to:

Physical limitations:

When I'm sick, I need:

Notes:

 

Confidence

On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (complete), my overall confidence is:

On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (complete), my confidence in my physical attractiveness:

On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (complete), my confidence in my capabilities:

On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (complete), my confidence in my decision making:

On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (complete), my confidence in my ability to sexually please my partners:

On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (complete), my confidence that I am deserving of love:

 

Personality

I would describe myself as:

I’m really good at:

I’m really bad at:

Accomplishments:

Goals:

I need help with:

On a scale of 0 (completely submissive/follower) to 10 (completely dominant/leader) I am:

On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (all), I prefer to make ___ my own life decisions:

On a scale of 0 (none) to 10 (all), I need ___ guidance:

When I need help, I will:

I work through my emotions by:

Things you should watch out for with me:

Notes:

 

Moods/Emotions

My mood is generally:

Things that make me happy:

Things that make me sad:

When I’m sad, you can:

When I’m mad/angry/annoyed, it feels/looks like:

When I’m mad/angry/annoyed, I need:

What I need to be content is:

What relaxes me is:

When I’m relaxed/content, it feels/looks like:

What stresses me out is:

When I’m stressed, it feels/looks like:

What gets me pumped up is:

When I’m pumped up, it feels/looks like:

Things that make me anxious:

Things that scare me:

Things that will hurt my feelings:

Things that annoy me:

 

Fun/Preferences

For fun I like to:

My favorite food(s) is/are:

My favorite beverage(s) is/are:

My favorite alcoholic beverage(s) is/are:

My favorite vices:

I should avoid these vices:

I should avoid these vices when I'm not in good place:

My favorite thing(s) to listen to:

My favorite things to watch:  

I need about ___ hours of sleep. When I don’t:

I need to eat about ____ times a day. When I don’t:

 

Sexuality

I need to have sex about ____ per _____. When I don't:

The type of people I have sex with are:

The type of sex I like to have is:

How to arouse me:

How to turn me off:

My favorite fantasies:

Something I'd like to do more of is:

My kinks and fetishes are:

On a scale of 0 (not at all) to 10 (completely), I'd rate my sexual satisfaction as:

I need help with:

What I need from a partner/relationship:

 

Family

Traumatic experiences:

Happiest moments:

I prefer my chosen or biological family:

These people are not good for me and I need to avoid them:

These people will always help me, if I need it:

These people love and support me:

How to make me feel loved and cared for:

On a scale of 0 (not at all) to 10 (completely) I have resolved my “issues”:

The “issues” I’m still working on:

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Everything you really need to know about defensiveness

Everything you really need to know about defensiveness

In the past week, I’ve written somewhere near 3,000 words on defensiveness. It was a thorough and thoughtful collection of blogs, but frankly that’s far too damn much to read for most people – me included. So, for myself and the rest of those who want to get digestible info quick, here’s everything you really need to know about defensiveness.

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Normally, we get a first-hand look at defensiveness when we’re fighting or when you’re given a critique. You can stop yourself in the moment, but it’ll be easier if you know it’s coming and how to deal with it.

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9 thoughtless, defensive statements you've definitely said in every argument and what to say instead

9 thoughtless, defensive statements you've definitely said in every argument and what to say instead

Fact is, most of the time when we talk, we don’t choose every single word that comes out of our mouths — that would take way to much damn work, and I got shit to do today. So we tend use a lot of code words, common sayings and other thoughtless words to get our points across.

When it comes to an argument, critique or other difficult conversation, thoughtless usually equals asshole-ish, rude and defensive. Here are a few of those code words, sayings and other thoughtless statements you need to remove from your dictionary.

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The 8 types of defensiveness and how to identify which one you're fighting

The 8 types of defensiveness and how to identify which one you're fighting

At some point we all get a little defensive, but how we do it is different. Some people are in your face with it, others simply stay quiet and annoying – passive versus active. Either way, most of time, is a ninja with skill levels far over 9000. 

It’s a beast but kicking defensiveness’ ass isn’t so hard. Its key weakness is that it’s only really effective when you don’t know it’s there. Luckily, it’s also kind of stupid, illogical, repetitive and leaves footprints everywhere.

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