kidder kaper

How I spent a year pretending to be bisexual

About a year ago, when I first started writing this blog, I decided I should make a few concessions in my personal life. One such concession was how I viewed my sexuality. My whole life I’d had always identified as gay, but I thought that a good sex educator should open themselves to new experiences. I convinced myself that if I ever wanted to be as cool as Kidder Kaper or Violet Blue that I should try a taste of the bi. So, I adopted a new sexuality; when asked I would tell people that, “I’m gay but shit happens.” I felt like it was a simple way of allowing my 98% majority sexuality prominence while acknowledging the 2% minority that usually rises after a couple shots of Stolichnaya. The simple change in nomenclature allowed me to reinterpret how I saw my sexuality. No longer was I just some gay dude, I was an open and wanton sexually expressive dude, which made me feel special.

I’ve never felt completely comfortable within my sexuality. So, when people would ask about my sexual preferences I would say that I was gay, but when I was extremely uncomfortable it wasn’t uncommon for me to fabricate a much more bi leaning or pansexual persona. That discomfort stemmed from the insecurities with my sexuality, and my chronic social anxiety. The new asterisk in my sexual declaration served the purpose of giving me the comfort and cool factor that I sought. With my new sexuality firmly grasped, like a permission slip on field trip day, I set out to explore the bright pink new world.

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Sex Is Fun! - Let's Talk About Toys

I will be the first to admit that older sex manuals have many problems; they are often boring as fuck or filled with questionably pleasurable/just flat out dangerous advice. Sex Is Fun!, written by Kidder Kaper, is nothing like that. In fact, it’s not like any sex manual… ever.

So, where do I start? Well, let’s talk about the format. Sex Is Fun!: Creative Ideas For Exciting Sex is a sex manual that’s for sure, but it’s also a graphic novel. However, that’s not the best way to describe it. I would say it’s more like an illustrated sex workbook. I think that’s the best way to describe it. Imagine those workbooks you had for math class in elementary school but instead of chapters about addition and subtraction you have chapters about role play and oral sex.

How can you learn about sex, which is a physical act, by reading about it? You can’t really, which is why this style is so effective. While video will always beat out static images, this comic type of illustration, paired with valuable and fun information allows Sex Is Fun! to push the limits of the book medium to its max and redefine the classic sex manual all at once.

Speaking of information, Sex Is Fun! is brimming with all sorts of useful notes, tutorials and sage sexpert wisdom that has clearly come from years of hands on experience. I would venture to say that Mr. Kaper’s milkshake has been bringing people to his yard for many years. He’s willing to teach us, but he has to charge. Luckily, the charge is only $20. Even better, if you buy it from the Smitten Kitten you can use the coupon code “LTASex” for 20% off your entire order and free shipping. Milkshakes aside, Sex Is Fun! is simply fantastic.

One of the most important things about Sex Is Fun! is that it was written and illustrated to be pansexual. This means that no matter who you take to bed, this book can help you have an even better time. In the past I have expressed my frustration with media that refuses to acknowledge the existence of any people it deems invalid, so I was refreshingly surprised to see that Kaper and illustrator, Josh Lynch, made the effort to include. It’s a small thing that many people won’t notice, but I do and I know that the people who are normally excluded will too.

Sex Is Fun! is the closest thing you can get to an user manual for your genitals. If you are having sex, you need to own a copy of Sex Is Fun!: Creative Ideas For Exciting Sex. I could keep extolling the virtues of Kaper, but I’m off to have a bit of chapters 26 and 33. Want to be in the know, buy the book. Trust me, you’ll love it.

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