Because I’m the “Sexpert” people often assume that I have the bestest most awesomest sex life ever in the history of the world!!!1! The truth is that I am struggling out here just like everyone else. I haven’t been on a successful date… ever. I find bars and other social situations overwhelming. Online dating sites for gay men are like meat markets. I constantly put obstacles in my way. I know all this to be true and yet I continue to ignore it with work. All of this makes me feel like I’ve lost the spark of life that I once had. It’s strange to be 23 and feel like you’re past your prime. Lately I have been thinking about how to get that spark back in my life. I want to rediscover my sexuality and break out of the shell that I’ve built for myself.
There was a time where I always felt sexy, and desirable. I had sense that even though I was a big guy, I had a lot to offer and people wanted me. That sense buoyed by all the great sex that I was having, deflated when I stopped. Without my confident attitude, my stunning personality was little match for my extreme shyness and introversion. I stopped going out, stopped meeting new people, and dropped off the social map. For a while that social isolation was fine, I was never really much of a people person, but now that my priorities and desires are evolving it’s time to get my groove back.