All tagged Intimacy Month
Back in 1967, the Supreme Court of the United States of America said what we all knew: Race-based marriage discrimination is stupid and unconstitutional.
Even though that landmark decision made love across color lines legal, it didn't open the floodgates of interracial relations. In fact, according to a Pew research study, in 2010, only 8.4 percent of all marriages were interracial. A lot of people site this as evidence that we don't want to date interracially; I think it's just an unfortunate side effect of the fear, uncertainty and doubt we have surrounding race ... and a hint of laziness.
Let’s be straight: we all know how to be romantic….or we think we do. We all know how to act out the obvious clichés of romance. We can all buy flowers and chocolates for our significant others on Valentine’s day. We can take our date out to a candlelit dinner at a restaurant way above our pay rate and take them home for passionate, romance novel-esque sex. But that isn’t real romance; what everyone believes to be “romantic” are cliché constructs of a consumer-driven society. So, I am here to tell you 5 ways you can skip the flowers and chocolates and still be wholeheartedly romantic.
I’m willing to wager the word “intimacy,” when considered, often leaves a sweet gumdrop trail of images: holding hands, sharing secrets or making love. However, I tend to translate “intimacy” in a stranger but more exciting way.
There are some specific things my girlfriend and I engage in to stay close. These things may not be orthodox but they work, and the two of us are extremely happy.
When most people think of intimacy, they think only of sex. Really, intimacy is “a close, familiar, and affectionate personal relationship.” It’s connection and energy that create intimacy.
Even the most mundane activities can be intimate when you’re with the right person. These non-sexual activities will make you laugh and feel sexy but most of all bring you closer as a couple.
As a twenty something woman living in the city, I’ve had my fair share of shitty dates and bad sex. If it’s not the rude messages on OkCupid, it’s the lagging conversation during the date or the subpar sex afterwards that leaves you wanting something with a lot more substance. Being the sensible queer girl I am, I decided to change my straight, cis routine and offer up this good pussy to my queer brethren.
While I hadn’t dated one before, queer men now hold a special place in my heart...and vagina. Unfortunately, most people look at queer men like lepers. I have seen the queer light and I want you know why queer are fucking awesome!
You snooped or stumbled across evidence your partner has been doing some things they shouldn’t online. You know what you know and you can’t un-know it. Social script dictates that knowing this information, you should righteously flail about spilling piss and vitriol. Instead of behaving like a spiteful demon, why not actually address the problem like an adult.
There are myriad ways to express one’s sexuality and many don’t require sex at all. It’s unfortunate, though, that many of those expressions are vilified as cheating in many relationships. Just because these activities are sexual and intimate doesn’t mean it’s a threat to your relationship. In fact, some are actually pretty good for your sex life and the longevity of the relationship.
A one night stand is (or should be) a simple agreement to use each other’s bodies for pleasure. This once handy tool for sexual gratification and exploration is often soiled by insecurities and performance anxiety. If your one night stands aren’t what they used to be, these guidelines will help get them back on track.
Non-monogamy is an awesome option to the traditional relationship set up. Unfortunately, it’s often brought up as a desperate effort to save a zombified relationship. Let’s get this straight right now: non-monogamy won’t save your relationship, but it could.
When it comes to relationships, most of the time, people simply fall into the Sarlacc pit of monogamy by default. As a proud whore, the happily (monogamous) ever after ideal has never been my romantic goal. In my eyes, the best part of sex – and life, in general – is getting to experience all the variety it has to offer and it’d be stupid for me choose to love in any other way.
