I always knew when it came to the heart gender didn’t really matter. But I never thought I’d fall in love with another woman – until I did.
I’ve been dating, give or take a few months, for a decade. I’ve had my share of clammy hand holding, gutsy front-door kisses and nervous first sexual encounters. In that time, not once did I deviate from the social norm of having a heterosexual relationship. Basically, my date always had a dick. Sometimes, my date was a dick.
I’m not going to give any lines about men and parking spaces (all of the good ones are taken) or expanding my odds of finding someone to settle down with, because hey, I’m not getting any younger. It didn’t come to that. She wasn’t a last resort or a decision to settle. Gender was an afterthought. She would’ve been the one whether she was a woman or a man.
She gets excited about autumn fashion, mascara and happy endings. She smells like Victoria’s Secret and straightened curls. Her laugh is high and her center of gravity is low. She’s soft, with thin arms, small hands and a monthly menstruation. Not a man – not what I’m used to.
Being with a woman doesn’t automatically make me gay, just like being with a man doesn’t automatically make me straight. It’s not as if I were bitten by a radioactive spider and suddenly turned from Peter Parker to Spiderman. I’m making a choice to try something new; it wasn’t forced on me.
If this situation has given me a superpower at all, it’s realizing there’s fluidity to sexuality, especially in today’s world. Think about it: People are given the opportunity to choose between the high-top sneakers or the low-top sneakers, the wooden stool or the metal stool, the Thai noodles or the Italian noodles. We have so many options at our fingertips, and it’s only natural that we take advantage of them in our sex/love lives as well.
So this is what I’ve done: I’ve taken advantage of love, not gender. Just like the lesbian/gay community began including bisexual and transgender to make up LGBT, and just like LGBT began including queer, intersex and ally to make up LGBTQIA, I’ve decided to open my mind and heart to include the potentiality of having a woman as a life mate.
Listen, the world is opening up wide. The minds of its people are broadening every day. This, if you haven’t figured out yet, is a wonderful thing. People are starting to be accepted for who they are, what they are, who they love and what they love.
I’m currently loving someone of the same sex. Tomorrow, I could meet someone of the opposite sex and sparks could fly. It’s all possible because the way we view one another is changing and the way we view sex is changing. Sexuality is a malleable situation now, to be reshaped and molded to fit. All you have to do is open your mind.