I am a straight, dominant man who loves anal sex

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I am a straight, dominant man who loves anal sex *pause for applause* Thank you, thank you. Now the reason I made the statement “I am a straight dominate man who loves anal sex” comes from gathering a number of the myths that I have read and heard about that I have found that people have about anal sex and men.

Myth 1:  Men have to be gay to enjoy anal sex.

Sorry but no! Let me assure you, I am not speaking for every man on Earth but out of the 3.5 billion or so men that inhabit this planet, there has to be a percentage that are straight and like anal pleasure. Even though I hate labels, I identify with being straight and I like anal play.

I have always liked anal pleasure precisely for that reason: pleasure – I love that word. For years, I have been into different types of anal pleasure such as analingus, prostate play, pegging, etc. My earliest memory of anal play was when I started masturbating.

When I masturbated then, it was for the pleasure from the pressure I felt fromplaying with my anus. Never, then, did I think or associate the act with being gay but instead I just enjoyed the act. For me, it was another area of my body to explore and add to my sexual play.

Oh and as a little side note people, not all gay men like anal play, just a little FYI for you.

Myth 2:  Liking anal sex means I want to be dominated.

For this, let me talk about pegging, which is an act where a woman has anal sex with a man – or woman – using a strap on.  A great misconception, not in all cases, is that the person with the penis or phallic device has to be dominating the person who is the receiving/the person receiving wants to be dominated. For me, in that situation that is a big ‘no.’ 

I have been in the BDSM scene for over 20 years and I am a dominant, which means: I like to dominate those I am playing with during a particular play session. During my sessions – either kinky or vanilla – I may ask the person to use a strap-on on me. For me, it feels good.

Myth 3:  Anilingus, you only do that to a woman… Who says? 

Oral sex is awesome but add some tongue action to the anus… wow and thank you!  Analingus can be fun for both a man as the receiver and for a woman as the giver. Just remember, when it comes to the mouth and anal play, cleanliness is very important.

Myth 4:  Sticking your finger up a man’s butt and playing with their prostate will hurt.

Okay, so, if you just jam your finger into his ass – without lube – it will probably hurt. If you use lube and slide your finger into him gently and slowly, that would probably feel great. Once your finger is in the guy’s ass, do not just go and poke at the prostate; treat it nicely and massage it gently. 

Gentlemen, there are two good reasons you want to let your partner do this for you: Número uno, pressure – whether you’re using a finger or a toy – on the prostate during oral sex or intercourse can result in some intense orgasms. Number two, having your partner massage your prostate can be good for your health. It has been shown that stimulation of the prostate can help with the reduction of prostate swelling (prostatitis), which is commonly caused by prostate cancer.  This also can be achieved by using prostate stimulators such as the Mood Naughty by Doc Johnson.

Again, folks, these are just some of the myths, ideas & thoughts that are out there. They do not pertain to everyone, which is okay.  If you – especially if you are a “Straight Dominate Male” or a male – like anal pleasure then go ahead and have it in the way that works for you, makes you feel good.  Remember to be safe, express what you desire and communicate honestly and openly with yourself and with whoever you play with.  Now go have fun!


Hercules’s Bio

Hercules The Pleasure Coach is a sex, intimacy & relationship educator, writer, blogger, speaker, activist, coach and permission giver.  He focuses his work & expertise on various topics of sex positive awareness, sexual and intimate practices, sex workers rights, Open Relationship & BDSM Lifestyles but never limits himself to talking about other areas of sex & life. 


Resources to Check Out:

Website: Ruby Ryder's Pegging Paradise http://peggingparadise.com/

Book:  Dr. Charlie Glickman & Aislinn Emirzian – The Ultimate Guide To Prostate Pleasure http://www.prostatepleasureguide.net/

Product: Helix Syn http://www.aneros.com/product/helixsyn/ by Aneros http://www.aneros.com



Anal Masturbation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_masturbation - is manual erotic stimulation focusing on the anus and rectum. For humans, common methods of anal masturbation include manual stimulation of the anal opening and the insertion of an object or objects such as fingers, feet, fists, phallic shaped items, water play, or sex toys such as anal beads, butt plugs, dildos, vibrators or specially designed prostate massagers.

Anilingus http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anilingus - is an oral and anal sex act where one person stimulates the anus of another person by the use of their mouth, including lips, tongue or teeth.

Pegging http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_(sexual_practice) - is a sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo. The neologism "pegging" was popularized when it became the winning entry in a contest in Dan Savage's Savage Love sex advice column, held after an observation was made that there was no common name for the act


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