I’ve always hated the obsession our culture has with looseness, but recently my general disdain became full-on outrage. When I actually experienced it, I realized looseness was actually pretty freaking great.
Ever since I started nodding politely when people described me as “the sex guy,” I’ve been swimming in queries about how to keep one’s orifices tight. Of course, like any educated person, I’ve always answered this question by completely destroying the concept as misogynistic, sex-negative drivel.
One’s orifices aren’t made of wet newspaper; sticking a dick, finger or myriad of other objects in it won’t permanently affect its ability to be useful. If even a few million uses would render our genitalia useless, we’d be kind of screwed.
The truth is, humans need sex. It’s probably our most important social activity. Sure, procreation is important, but most of the time people have sex for emotional bonding and physical release purposes. If someone got pregnant every time we had sex, we’d be extinct due to overpopulation. So that means we need to be able to take a pounding or 525,600 of them.
Anuses are made for repeated use under some of the most strenuous situations in your body. Vaginas are made for the expressed purpose of being able to pass a rather large object then go back to normal. Sure, vaginas are usually different after giving birth, but different isn’t always a bad thing. Different is, in fact, rarely bad. In this situation, different is kind of awesome.
As anal intercourse tends to go, each time we were getting down I had to do a little warm-up before pounding away. Even still, it often was difficult to get my penis in him the first time. Eventually, though, he soon lost his need to be warmed up at all, and it was easier than ever to penetrate him.
I thought the penetration breakthrough I had was due to getting a lot of practice. While that’s partially true, the fact that his anus became softer, looser and more comfortable certainly helped, too. When I first noticed it, I didn’t know what to make of it. Although I was certain of one thing: Looseness felt good.
Since we’d been flip-flopping in bed for a while, I started to notice the same changes in my anus as well. From the penetratee’s perspective, everything that was great about loosening for the top was doubled for the bottom.
That familiar sharp pain with the first few strokes became dulled and often nonexistent, even without warm-up. It also became much easier to tell the difference between good pressure and needing to run to the bathroom.
Like any good muscle, the anal sphincter and the vaginal muscles become stronger and more flexible with use. I’d always told people that as a plus to being more sexually experienced, because it made logical and medical sense. In a real-life sense, more penetration really means better, easier and more pleasurable penetration for both partners.
While, of course, there was never anything to fear when it came to looseness, it’s nice to have some actual experience with the scary beast. It just sucks that people are so terrified of something that’s actually pretty great.