I’m willing to wager the word “intimacy,” when considered, often leaves a sweet gumdrop trail of images: holding hands, sharing secrets or making love. However, I tend to translate “intimacy” in a stranger but more exciting way.
There are some specific things my girlfriend and I engage in to stay close. These things may not be orthodox but they work, and the two of us are extremely happy.
Here are some examples of how we maintain our intimacy:
As a same-sex couple, she and I are not always encouraged to publically display our intimacy. To be fair, we really only abide by the censorship when we work together over the weekends. But during a 12-hour shift of waiting tables, we often want relationship reinforcement. So we’ve come up with code words and phrases to express ourselves without offending guests or coworkers. For example, when one of us wishes she was kissing the other, we say “meh.” If one of us is checking out the other, we say “ramen.” If one of us is horny, we extend “ramen” to “ramen canoodle.”
The roots of the code words are lost to us now but they still pack the same punch, and we can tell each other how we’re feeling without attracting unwanted attention.
We are secure in our relationship, so we don’t mind expressing appreciation for others. In fact, often times she and I have heated conversations about who is hotter: Tom Hiddleston or Chris Hemsworth. We purr, we drool, we rubberneck. And neither of us takes anything personally. We know how committed we are to each other, and neither of us would ever stray. It’s just a little game we like to play.
We like to listen to songs on the radio and guess the name of the classic rock artist. Well, more like I struggle at guessing the name while my girlfriend gives me clues and a self-satisfied smirk. I’m not sure I’m learning anything, but she seems to think so. Either way, we have fun with this particular challenge.
There is this irritating family trait I have and cannot escape. Every one of my female relationships periodically grows a long, blonde hair right below the chin and right above the nape. Just like lovable primates groom each other, so do my girlfriend and I. I’ve enlisted her to pluck this stubborn hair, if she should ever stumble across it. This proves how close we are because you can’t trust just anyone with stray facial hairs.
Recently, we were rearranging rooms in the house, and as a result our bedroom became an absolute mess. Not a square foot of the floor could be seen. The house is much cleaner now, but at the time, a slew of pillows and blankets rested on my side of the bed on the floor. My girlfriend took full advantage of this makeshift ball pit, and more than once rolled us off of the bed and into the pit of pillows. As childish as this was, it made us crack up hysterically.
Sometimes we get a bit silly, and that’s perfectly okay. While some people find laughing in bed off-putting, we embrace it. When I’m turned on, my nipples extend pretty far, and on many nights my goofy girl can be found pushing them down and laughing while they pop back up. I know how unsexy this sounds, but it’s quite the opposite. There’s a physical connection as well as an emotional connection.
My girlfriend and I search the web and look at pictures of cats on glass tables. I’m serious. If you’ve never seen furry paws squished between a chubby feline and a plate of clear glass, you haven’t lived. I also would recommend searching “cats in tights.” These images will provide hours of bonding through raucous laughter.
Most couples think about the future: engagements, weddings, children, etc. That’s certainly not uncommon, but my girlfriend and I take it a step further. Not only have we pictured the future together, but named our children, given them personalities and even enrolled them in after-school programs. Perhaps this is a little excessive, but it’s still a heck of a good time. She and I get to imagine being together years from now, and it makes us that much closer.
These are just a few of the many ways I’m able to stay close to my girlfriend. We play around, we challenge each other, we take care of each other and we grow together. How much more intimate can you be?