Separation anxiety as a Dom can be a good thing

I miss my sub. Yes, I'm aware he's been gone for less than 90 minutes, but goddammit he is mine and I want him here.

This isn't an uncommon feeling for me; I commonly yearn for his presence when he's gone. My submissive also is my boyfriend, so some people would say it's love. That's probably true, but to me it's simply separation anxiety.

I know that seems odd: a Dom feeling separation anxiety about their sub, but it's true. He's mine. So, sometimes, I want him to be with me. When I leave the house without my phone or keys, I often feel the same way.

Logically, I know I'm fine and so are they. In the case of my wallet, keys and phone, they are inanimate objects and probably won't get into much trouble on my desk. In the case of my pup, sub and boyfriend, he won't get into much trouble on my desk, either. It's just uncommon that I'd leave him there.

In general, my pup is venturing out in this dangerous world all alone. Sure, he probably won't get into much trouble there, either — he is an adult man, after all. Even still, I can't help but worry when he's gone a minute too long or doesn't reply to a text within a reasonable amount of time.

Take right now, for example. He's been gone less than 90 minutes, but he should have been back from Kroger 30 minutes ago.

In my head, I know he probably just missed the bus or went to an extra store, but his phone is dead and he can't tell me that. So, for all I know, he's lying dead in the street. That isn't a logical fear, for sure, but it could happen.

In truth, that's just my immediate fear. I know he's probably not dead, but he could be robbed, beaten, lost or just scared, and I wouldn't know.

When he's with me — or has his phone charged — I can soothe my fears. When that's not the case, like now, my head is free to run wild. I wish I could get a handle on it, but I also don't.

The feeling I'm having sucks, but it's not so bad, really.

Beneath all the panic, there's a kernel of care that is making me concerned about him. It's that same kernel that allows me to love him despite his faults and do it how he needs it done. Even still, it fucking sucks to sit in suspense, watching traffic for his bus.

The way most people tell it, Doms aren't supposed to feel that way. Personally, I think that's complete bullshit.

Doms are people, too. We're just as emotional as anyone else. If a Dom is unfeeling, how do you expect them to give a shit about rupturing a sub's spleen, tearing their tendon or breaking their heart?

The fact that seeing my sub walk up to the house sent a huge wave of relief over me is a good thing. While it may not be the ideal Domliness for some, I'm happy to care so damn much about my sub. He is just a puppy, after all.

Beneath all the panic, there's a kernel of care that is making me concerned about him. It's that same kernel that allows me to love him despite his faults and do it how he needs it done. Even still, it fucking sucks to sit in suspense, watching traffic for his bus.

The way most people tell it, Doms aren't supposed to feel that way. Personally, I think that's complete bullshit.

Doms are people, too. We're just as emotional as anyone else. If a Dom is unfeeling, how do you expect them to give a shit about rupturing a sub's spleen, tearing their tendon or breaking their heart?

The fact that seeing my sub walk up to the house sent a huge wave of relief over me is a good thing. While it may not be the ideal Domliness for some, I'm happy to care so damn much about my sub. He is just a puppy, after all.

So, here's my question: Have you ever felt this sort of feeling as a sub or dom? How did it make you feel? What'd you do about it?

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