Review: Satisfyer Men penile masturbator and Satisfyer Men Neutral lube

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TL; DR

Satisfyer Men has a lot of potential but also needs a lot of little tweaks. Great price and build.

https://us.satisfyer.com/us/satisfyer-men/15/satisfyer-men

Overview

After a successful run of sex toys targeted at people with vaginas, German manufacturer Satisfyer has released their first product geared at those with penises. From all the excitement my sex toy reviewer friends have shown over the last few years, I, too, was excited to try out something from them. Sadly, my excitement has been tempered.

The entire unit is nice. Built strong, but it’s a little awkward to take apart. Nice to look at but I wish it was a color other than blue. Good feeling in use but the cavity is too narrow for even my average dick, making to orifice tightening air pocket thing useless. Although, the air pockets felt nice to hold.

So, we’re clear Satisfyer Men is typical a penile mastubator. If you’ve used a Fleshlight, Tenga, etc. you’re already familiar with how it looks and works. There’s a cap to cover where your penis goes in and a screw cap to control suction. The sleeve removes for easy cleaning. Thankfully they didn’t try to reinvent the wheel. They did develop a unique air pocket feature, though.

Much like those shoes from my youth, you squeeze a certain area on the device and it fills an air pocket within the unit. It’s effective, never loses pressure, and provides a very comfortable area to hold in you. Unfortunately, my penis prefers looseness and pliability. I want to stick my dick in something soft, welcoming and well-practiced. This device starts with a narrow orifice and allows you to customize by making it tighter.

For someone who likes the tightest pussy, Satisfyer Men is probably the best thing since tight pussy. For a guy like me who prefers a gentle stroke and the gushiest pussy, it’s a compounding mess of promising becoming completely undesirable.

The orifice is visually about the size of the average Fleshlight, but the material isn’t nearly as stretchy. The manufacturer says it’s a cyberskin material, which I think means TPE. It’s soft to my fingers but my penis found it to be firm like plopping your penis head into the depths of a throat. That’s an unreservedly enjoyable sensation when mixed a pillowy tongue. In this case there is no variation and feels expectedly monotonous.

Satisfyer Men Neutral - All of this is compounded by the fact that the material only supports water-based lubes. I literally started a company to make oil-based lubes because I hate the water-based ones so much. Still, I gave their Satisfyer Men Neutral water-based lube a try and didn’t hate it. It did however have more tack than I like. I suppose adding a little water would help but I don’t want to do that. On its own, it supports a nice slow stroke. Again, it’s a curated experience not curated for my penis. I like variability. Every time I tried to pick up speed, this lube just didn’t keep up, sadly. It might be better suited for use inside someone self-lubricating though.

I did also try to use The Butters Lube, but it literally disintegrated the sleeve. Some sleeve materials perform better than others with oils, this one couldn’t handle anything. Tenga has the same problem. Fleshlight’s material is much more resistant to this, but it also costs like twice as much. If you, like me, us body oils other than lube, it may still be a problem.   

I will say, it’s pretty cool that there are more sleeves available and there’s a few that look like they’d be better suited for me. I was sent the basic retail box (for free to review by Satisfyer), which only

 includes their “classic” sleeve. I wish you had the option to choose which sleeve came with the device. Even with all the little preference issues, I’m sure that choosing the most spacious “Chambers of Pleasure” sleeve would dramatically change this review of both the Neutral Lube & Satisfyer Men in general.

The device is only $40 and seems well made. That’s a much better price than almost all their competitors worth a damn. I could completely see myself buying a shell and a hand selected sleeve, but I’m not paying for a device to throw away the sleeve, especially when the features of the shell are not exactly my cup of tea.

The guy on the box (Rocco Siffredi) says the Satisfyer Men performs better than thousands of women he’s “had.” I have no reservations in saying my hand and boyfriend are better. Although, since so many of my vagina having sex blogger friends love Satisfyer’s other products, I have hope for the next generation.

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