Because of the way people like me tend to talk about anal sex, a lot of people think it’s some overwrought affair. Yeah, it’s a bit more complicated than vaginal or oral sex. But, truth be told, you really only need three things to have stellar anal sex: patience, lube and a sunny disposition. Easy, breezy, beautiful: Anal Whore.
In order to have great anal sex, you’ve got to take your fucking time. While your butt works well as a sex organ, it’s really made for the sole purposes of digestion and evacuation. You’ve got to give it time to adjust to it’s new job. Patience, bottom san.
Now, I’m not going to give you a clock or set time because it’s completely pointless. Everyone will have a different experience every single time. The more you play with your butt the less time you’ll need. But, in the beginning, you might spend the whole night just getting used to having something in your butt. Most people never think about, let alone eroticize, their anuses and it’s probably not going to happen overnight. #DEALWITHIT
Christopher Walken may think everything needs more cowbell but I know everything needs more lube, especially anal sex. When it comes to anal sex, you can never, and I mean never, have too much lube. You could be swimming in an Olympic sized pool of lube with Tom Daley and Gabby Douglas and I’d still find a reason for you to use more.
Let’s be real here, you don’t need that much but you will need to be more than generous. You can’t use a drop and be mad when the friction starts a fire. Look for a thick or creamy lube as those tend to be better for anal loving.
A sunny disposition
If a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down then a spoonful of open mind helps your anus open up. If you don’t want to take some dick (finger, toys, etc.) up yo’ ass, it’s not going to happen. If you try to make it happen, you are in for world of pain. Say it with me kids: the brain is your biggest sex organ.