I’ll admit it, I really don’t like sexting. I mean, it can definitely be fun but most of the people who end up trying to sext me go about it all wrong. So, to save others afflicted by random questions about our attire at 3am, I thought I’d throw out a few basic guidelines for some sexting that’s actually kind of sexy and fun.
Humor goes a long way
People take sex way too seriously. Whether it’s thinking hours of hard pounding, back breaking sex is the only way to satisfaction or simply forgetting to breathe, sex is often this heavy affair. In truth, though, sex is ridiculous and silly. It’s full of stupid, gross sounds, awkward faces, the odd elbow to the eye, etc.
Sexting, like actual sex, can be something light and fun. Try cheesy pick lines, wink and nudge innuendo (in your end o’), everyday sexiness, etc. If nothing else, you’ll get a good laugh and being in a good mood is always a good idea for your sex life.
Use a little fantasy and imagination
For me, ignoring this is one of the worst sexting crimes. When I sext, unless it was a particularly interesting session, I don’t want to simply recount the type of sex I’ve had. I enjoy having the sex but it always feels so pedestrian to talk about what happened. I’d much rather be talking about what could happen or what I’d like to happen.
The brain is the most important sex organ, stretch it out a little bit. Talk about what wanted to do in the elevator the other day. What’s an ideal sexual situation for you? Imagine and discuss what’d it be like for that one fantasy you had to come true. Hell, you could even just think about how twisted it is and get off to that.
Describe it, don’t just talk about it.
People won’t always remember what happened but they’ll always remember how they felt. When it comes to sex, this is especially true. You’ve got smells, tactile sensations, sounds, tastes, visuals and your own emotions. There’s a lot going on and talking solely about the mechanics is doing your sexting a grave disservice.
Keep it short
Texting is a great way to get a quick, quiet message to someone but terrible for long form communication. Sexting is the same way. If you’ve something flirty to say or like a pithy back and forth, sexting is great for that. However, if you’re trying to spin an entire fanfic over SMS, you’re probably not having as much fun as you could.
Stick to the available 160 characters and don’t be afraid of emoji. Everyone knows a ;) means “I wanna fuck.” You don’t’ have to say it.
I spend a lot of time on hook up apps where showing one’s asshole is a common way of saying hello. Now, I wouldn’t dare bemoan this practice, I love dick, ass, body and face pics. Yet, I would definitely say, knowing how frequently I’ve received unsolicited nudes and sexts in general, I’d imaging someone who’s opposed might get them just as often.
So, unless the person has asked, you have that kind of relationship or you’ve asked, keep the messages to yourself, send them to Arousr, drop them on Tumblr/Reddit/Imgur… or send them to me: firstname.lastname@example.org. Notice how I’ve asked, that’s my consent to be besieged with nudes from people all over the world. Most people won’t say it like that but if they ask to see a lil’ sumfin’, you can probably take that as a green light.