OUR GENITALS ARE UGLY AND PERFECT

your weird, perfect genitals1.jpg

It's time to face facts, your genitals are really weird-looking. No matter how big, tight, throbbing or pink, whatever you've got going on in your pants is nothing more than a jumble of skin, hair and various fluids and odors. Luckily for you, that ridiculous, sticky mess is exactly as it should be.

A lot of people see their weird-looking genitals and think they’re something to be ashamed of. I say “fuck that.” Just because your genitals are weird-looking doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them.

Penises and testicles are supposed to be floppy, stretchy, hairy, veiny, lopsided, curved and uneven. Vaginas and vulvas are supposed to be sticky, moist-looking, dangly, hairy, plump, uneven and colorful. Ambiguous genitalia is supposed to be anything in between.

If you have genitals, of any sort, they’re probably perfect. What you need to realize is that there’s no standard for what genitals should be. As long as they work well enough to give you pleasure, reproduce and aren’t infected with anything, what are you stressing about?

Oh, you’re worried because your labia are too large? Have you ever considered that your large labia give you extra friction for more sexual pleasure? You’re worried because your penis has a 45 degree curve? Have you ever considered that your curved cock might hit the prostate or g-spot like no one else?

Your genitals are perfect. They’re weird-looking and unwieldy but they are undoubtedly perfect. Anyone who says different needs a swift kick in the ass. Even if that means kicking yourself.

Look, you’ve only got one set of genitals. You two options: Spend your life stressing about what’s wrong with them or spend your life using them to make your whole body feel oh, so right. It’s an easy decision to make. 

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