How labels make for terrible sex

Hello_my_name_is_sticker.svg.png

I understand the importance of labels.  Really, I do.  If someone tells you they’re a doctor, you know not to ask them about a joint pin knock.  If someone tells you they’re a mechanic, you know not to ask them about your recent diagnosis of prostate cancer.  In fact, don’t bring that up to your local mechanic (unless your local they’re a loved one); it’s depressing.

You know what else is depressing?  The blatant obsession our society has with sexual preference.  These days, it seems people are not defined by their values or actions or beliefs but by whom they want to curl up next to when the lights go dim.

Let me begin with a common scenario.  Picture your basic office setting.  A suit and tie and sensible pumps are standing at the water cooler.

SP:   Have you met the new guy?

S&T:  Not sure.  I might have seen him around.  What’s he look like?

SP:  Well, he’s uh… (She looks around, and then supplies a gratuitous limp wrist) Uh… you know. 

S&T:  Oh!  Him!  Yeah, I’ve seen him.  (Shared laughter)

This particular scene – in one version or another – has occurred over and over in movies, TV, books, personal lives, etc.  But why is it necessary?

Perhaps the judgmental woman could have replied with, “He’s the one with the Yosemite Sam tie.”  That would have successfully described the newbie.  I’m not saying gay men, exclusively, like Looney Tunes.  What I am saying is that we should get into the habit of referencing the tangible description, rather than the assumed description.

People adore labels: lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, polyamorous.  But I present a question:  What if we could love a person because he or she is kind or intelligent or funny or British? What if we could desire something other than a reproductive organ?  What if we could all just stop worrying about fitting into neat little boxes?

Love is love is love is love is love.  I am a firmly believe that we fall in love with whom we fall in love with and it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or woman.  When have you ever heard the phrase, “their genitals beat as one?”  I bet you never have…until now.  That’s because we embrace a person’s heart or soul over their sex. 

I recently broke up with a man because he was convinced I was a lesbian and that I was fooling around with a girl friend from school. (For the record, his accusation was baseless and completely incorrect on both parts.)  It didn’t upset me that he thought I might desire a woman.  Far from it.  I’m open-minded enough to accept an attraction, if there was one.  I was hurt because he assumed I would develop a relationship behind his back.  There was a reason I was with him. Now there’s a reason I’m not. 

I’m not saying sleep with everything and anything that crosses your path. If you’re not attracted to someone, fine.  Good.  This practice isn’t to force something on you but to suggest that you have an open mind.  If you’ve only ever been attracted to one gender your whole life you may actually only be attracted to that one gender your whole life. I’m just offering the idea that your situation might change. Leaving the option open simply makes sure you don’t discard any potentially fulfilling connections.

Articles, Tips & Advice
7 reasons to put your business in the street

Even though there are some people who spend their days exploiting other’s weaknesses, in truth, there are many more good reasons why you should be putting your personal problems out in the street.

Does anyone else hate porn music as much as I do?

For all intents and purposes, mainstream porn is straight-up boring. From the staged positions to the monotonous and forced screams of fake pleasure, it’s all just garbage. But out of all its faults, the music is what really makes my penis softer than cashmere.

I always knew being 'loose' wasn't scary but I just found out 'looser' is better

I’ve always hated the obsession our culture has with looseness, but recently my general disdain became full-on outrage. When I actually experienced it, I realized looseness was actually pretty freaking great.

Pregnancy scares make you reevaluate things

Pregnancy scares: They happen. Whether you were positive the condom didn’t break or your contraceptive of choice was fully functional, they are a piece of the unexpected consequences of sex. In any case, let me tell you about my personal run-in with a pregnancy scare.

"I never thought I’d fall in love with another woman... until I did."

I always knew when it came to the heart gender didn’t really matter. But I never thought I’d fall in love with another woman – until I did.

Birthday Sex Playlist 2013

Ah, another year, another collection of sexy songs to fuck to. That’s right, it’s once again September 24th, my 26th birthday, and the day you’re gifted with the LTASEX Birthday Sex Playlist 2013. This year, we’ve got an all new collection of tracks that are guaranteed to make your sex hotter.

The pooper plunge:  a prudish straight girl’s thoughts on experimenting with anal sex

For those of you who have never asked a group of people what their thoughts and feelings are on anal sex, I have one word for you:  beware. I ventured this query recently and I received a *cough* butt-load of responses. Where I went wrong, I think, is questioning my most prudish friend first.

Pegging: Great for a man, fucking awesome for a woman

Imagine your partner laying on their back, their body moving in rhythm with yours. Their head, held back, mouth open, letting out moans of ecstasy. That’s why I love pegging. It’s intimate for me and my partner. They’ve let go and put their trust in me to be the top they need. Letting go of any societal judgment and giving into pleasure.

 

I am a straight, dominant man who loves anal sex

I am a straight, dominant man who loves anal sex *pause for applause* Thank you, thank you. Now the reason I made the statement “I am a straight dominate man who loves anal sex” comes from gathering a number of the myths that I have read and heard about that I have found that people have about anal sex and men.

How to be a stellar anal sex bottom

The main (maybe only) difference between anal sex and vaginal sex is the preparation for it. But the choral lyrics by a couple of 80’s & 90s songs entitled “It Takes Two” still says it best: “It takes 2 to make a thing go right / It takes 2 to make it out of sight.” With that said, what makes a good anal bottom?

Five years, more than 700 blogs, 50 videos, 40 podcasts, 3 events, 2 ebooks and 1 directory - LTASEX is a self-funded labor of love. If you get value out of LTASEX, consider tossing a couple bucks this way. Your donations help ease the burden on my slender pockets and allow me to spend more time working on new content for you.

Thank you for your continued support!

Montly Donation via PayPal

Monthly Donation Amount

Single Donation via PayPal

DONATE VIA PATREON
Patreon Logo

LTASEX is funded by you. Help keep it running.

Monthly Donation Amount

Single Donation via PayPal

DONATE VIA PATREON
Patreon Logo