“Why do straight guys always like watching women make out and have sex? If they're lesbians it’s not like they can be a part of it.”
This is a question I get all the time. But I had no idea how to answer it.
I’d asked a few guys but they usually couldn’t explain the attraction past, “it’s fuckin’ hot!” While I understand the sentiment, that doesn’t help explain the attraction.
Then, I was reading a post on Fleshbot.com about a video of two women kissing. Apparently, it is a follow up to a photo gallery they’d post previously. In the second paragraph, author Sailor Ripley makes everything crystal clear. She writes:
We're of the opinion that the video is even better than the photos, but we also like to watch women in motion. And women touching one another. And women doing anything that we can imagine being a part of, or not being a part of, or being ejected from. Seriously, most everything women do is sexy.
This makes so much sense. It’s so simple and so universal that even I understand the sentiment. I know that feeling in different form, being that I’m a raging homo. So, I feel that way towards other men.
I’m not sure what bolsters the attraction. But I love watching guys, gay or straight, exist. It seems odd but I find nearly everything they do to be sexy, attractive, or simply interesting enough to watch. They don’t even have to be trying to be sexy and yet I still react to their moving bodies like with intense interest.
This response, which I would guess is biological rather than psychological, makes me prefer to look at other men, in all their forms, over just about everything. I definitely spend a lot of time simply looking and I will get sucked into unconscious behaviors while doing so. I have on noticed numerous occasions that even mediocre looking guys could cause a response that is so consuming that I’ll forget things.
It’s a very intense and sometimes overwhelming sensation. I used the word “consuming” because that’s what it feels like. In some instances, I feel like my mind, which is normally running several races at once, has stopped moving in every race except for the one that is looking at the guy(s).
I should mention that this “response” is not an erection. It’s closer to the feeling of an intense emotion rather than a physiological response. But, there are times where the autonomic erection response does happen.
I could definitely imagine how much worse this has to be for straight men. In our culture women are always trying to be sexy, which would probably ratchet up that attraction response immensely. Or at least increase the frequency.
I couldn’t fathom that gay, bi, and straight males are so different that they would not have nearly identical attraction responses to equal but opposite stimuli. In this case the stimulus is the sight of two women kissing. Kissing is already a very visceral sensory experience, even to simply watch. If you combine the sensory memory with the attraction response I don’t see how that could not be a pleasurable experience. At the very least, it would prove to be much more interesting, to a straight guy, than looking at his male friends.
Another question I tend to get, usually connected to this question, is why there is such a great number of men who openly enjoy looking at two women kissing or having sex. The answer has two parts…
Firstly, you have to consider that male sexuality, in modern culture, is a group activity. Men discuss their likes, dislikes, desires, and fantasies with one another in great detail. Often this sharing goes as far as watching porn together, but attending a strip club is much more common. Since their sexual behavior is normalized, they would therefore be comfortable enjoying, or working in concert to satisfy their social acceptable sexual desires. In this case watching women sex each other up.
Then, you have to remember that males are males. Beyond their socialization, they are biologically very similar to one another. For the most part, they will all have the same reactions to the things they find attractive. It is doubtful that every single human male would experience in a drastically unique way. If they did, there would be little for males to bond over, which would be bad for the advancement of the species.
I know I got a bit geeky at the end there but this is the type of stuff that I nerd out over. I find this friggin’ interesting!
As I like to remind you folks from time to time, I’m neither a researcher nor an expert in the field of sexual attraction (yet). But I think I have enough knowledge in both fields to make an educated guess. Whether you think agree or disagree with my theory, I want to know what you think. Post a comment with your thoughts on the issue or send me an email with the widget in the sidebar to the right.