Are you following all 12 commandments of healthy sexuality?

When I began writing LTASEX, almost 2 years ago, I decided that my long term goal would be to rehab America’s relationship with sexuality. Ever since then, I have done my best to push forward toward that goal.

Recently, I began to feel like the work I had been doing was missing focus and structure. So, I decided go back to the beginning and rework my approach.

In that period of reflection, I figured out one very important thing that I was missing. Once I realized that this piece was missing, it seemed almost absurd that I never noticed. I mean, have you ever heard of a successful push for social change that didn’t begin with a goal?

Sure, I say things like “rehabbing sexuality” and “redefining sexual education” but what the hell does that really mean? What's even more troubling is that, upon further inspection, I realized that I had never even defined what I think “healthy” sexuality is.

It’s time to remedy that.

So, today, I present to you wonderful readers of LTASEX.INFO and Let’s Talk About Sex in the pages of The Eastern Echo a simultaneous declaration. These are the commandments of health sexuality. Not exactly a definition but these are a great starting point to look within yourself and find the areas where you can improve your sexiness quotient.


I Thou shalt love thy sexuality

While it may seem like a given, loving your sexuality is more than simply recognizing its existence and sating its hunger. To truly love your sexuality, you must embrace it and hold it tight. You must accept it for what it is and love it despite its rebellion from social norms. You must be willing to stand up for your sexuality and defend it against the constant attacks from those who hate themselves and want you to be just as miserable.

II Thou shalt be honest about one’s desires and needs

Never should you hide your needs and desires out of fear and/or shame. There is no person on this earth with sexuality quite like yours. If you deny that and try to hide it from the light, it won’t die and it won’t cower. It will, however, continue to fight back until you come to your senses.

III Thou shalt give unselfishly

When you decide to allow others to take temporary refuge inside the warm envelope of your sexuality, you should not do so with ego. If you deem them worthy, then are worthy and deserve all of the accoutrement that comes with it. The sexuality that you are born with has no limits to the amount of pleasure, happiness and primal connections that it can make. We are often taught that we should horde and conserve our sexuality like we’re in a sexual depression.  That is blatantly untrue.

IV Thou shalt receive graciously

Although your sexuality, and everyone one else’s, is limitless it is still a remarkable gift for them to share it with you. Even for a moment. Never lose sight of the worth or importance of the gesture.

V Thou shalt stay educated

Although this point is practical rather than philosophical, it is still important. We live in world where things are always in a state of flux. Because of that we have evolved to be a species that learns until the last synapse has fired. Whether out of fear or ignorance, not only do we tend stop learning about our sexuality but often we never start. Nothing else in our life do we neglect so completely, and that must change.

VI Thou shant use sex as a weapon

With great gentalia comes great responsinlity. Sex equals power, that is a an undeniable truth. Recognizing the power you hold between your legs is a very importamt part of appreciating your sexuality. It is perfectly fine to use your sexuality, in the same way you use your physical strength or mental prowess, as the means to an end that is mutually bemeficial, and sometimes, selfish. However you decide to use your sexuality, under no circumstances should it be used as a tool to hurt others.

VII Thou shalt spread the good word

As one of the enlightened few, it is your responsibility to continue to preach that which you have learned.

VIII Thou shant use the word “love,” in vain

While I could never say that sex and emotions are divorced from another, the word love has no connection to sexuality. It is possible to have sex without love and love without sex. Unfortunately, the current standards of our culture require that we feign the attachment of love and deny the existence and prevalence of lust and infatuation.

In this we must remember that, no matter how hard we deny it, we are only animals with delusions of civilization. Our sexual drive and desire has as much to do with love as marriage has to do with happiness.

IX Thou shalt always be prepared

Our species has the unique quality of forethought and planning. It has helped the hapless caveman evolve into the erect homosapiens that we now are. Thanks to that skill we now plan and prepare for everything in life. A responsible person would include their sexuality in their life’s preparation. If it’s possible, one should treat it as inevitable.

You are not invulnerable, nor impenetrable.  Recognize that this part of your humanity is a feature that you can't disable.

X Thou shant condemn other’s sexuality

As you would want for yourself, so should you treat others. I could not begin to request that you see others as an extension of yourself but there are no circumstances where you should begin to see the other as a threat or an affront to you. Everyone’s experience is simply a different side to the same di of fate. You could have easily been the “deviant” you condemn. You may not have, but that has nothing to your worth as a person in anyone's eyes.

Devoting a second's thought to that sort of close minded fodder simply means that you are human. To devote your life to it simply means that hate is more important to you than love. We will let that speak for itself.

XI Thou shalt be adventurous

Nothing great has ever been achieved from a safe distance. Nothing sexy has ever happened to anyone who didn't dare to make it so.

XII Thou shalt see a doctor regularly

Practicality reigns again. The wisdom of medical practitioners is nearly boundless. If you have resources, that wisdom can be made available to you.

Remember that this wisdom extends and surpasses anything you can gleam through a guess. Do not let fear stand between you and the confirmation of the health you believe that you possess.

Of course this is just the beginning of our new push, but it's a good place to start.

I don't yet know if this will be the final list but, for the moment, this is our working guide to healthy sexuality. Since we are a sex-ocracy and not a sex-tatorship, as always, I want to know what you think.

Is there anything I left out? Something you think I should take out? Did I get it right? Do I look fat in these jeans? Whatever the case let me know,, twitter.comltasex, or

Five years, more than 700 blogs, 50 videos, 40 podcasts, 3 events, 2 ebooks and 1 directory - LTASEX is a self-funded labor of love. If you get value out of LTASEX, consider tossing a couple bucks this way. Your donations help ease the burden on my slender pockets and allow me to spend more time working on new content for you.

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