WELCOME

Sex is the key to everything! Since 2011, I’ve been bringing you the best in sex education. Let’s keep it running!

Wholigans In Lust - An Erotic Story

Is there anything the Doctor can't fix? In this unique erotic short story of boy meets girl, we take a look at how a mutual love for a certain time lord and a bit of risk can connect two strangers.

Can they get past the awkward and get to the sexy? Is Hitler still in the cupboard? Who killed the Doctor?

I can't answer that just yet. It would be, as they say...

 

(Connected to chat)

(08/30/2011 22:34)

It was nice meeting you today, at orientation.

Was it?

It wasn’t for you? :(

It might have been if I had a clue to who you were :P

Awww… now I feel bad. This is Jason, your guide.

(08/30/2011 22:37)

Oh… hi.

Not happy to hear from me?

Just weirded out that you have my aim.

That I can explain. I got ur gmail off one of your forms.

I was gonna send an email but it said you were online.

Creepy.

Or charming? Maybe a bit bold?

It’s pretty damn creepy… Should I be calling Chris Hansen?

…Oh god no. We’re the same age.

You and Chris Hansen? Maybe I should call John Walsh.

No you and me. 

(08/30/2011 22:41)

Looks like you got more than just my aim off those forms. Isn’t that kinda illegal?

Probably. But I had to talk to you.

Why?

Well you happen to be the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. Also you’re a girl who likes Dr. Who and that makes you even sexier.

Uh… ok. Thanks.

(08/30/2011 22:43)

I know I’m going about it wrong, but I’m not trying to be a creeper. I just… did I fuck this up already?

Maybe, maybe not.

J So you’re saying there’s a chance. Lol

That depends

On?

How well you talk yourself out of this awkward 2 step.

Ah, well… um… Shut up Hitler?

A quite timely Doctor Who reference… good save. Not.

Well what’s a boy to do?

(08/30/2011 22:57)

I’m sitting here in my room sweating bullets because the gorgeous, nerdy, sarcastic girl with perfect hair and a sophisticated palate might not like me as much as I like her.

Hmmm… So you’re worried because the girl whose number you gathered through probably illegal means might not like you?

It’s a good reason to worry.

Not really.

Realizing that your TARDIS was stolen or that you’re on a planet whose core holds Satan is a reason to worry.

This not so much.

(08/31/2011 23:01)

Especially when that girl you’re so infatuated with was hoping that she’d bump into you again.

Ok… well I’m going to go die now because no one is this lucky.

It seems that you are. So am I.

I think I’m the one who is really #WINNING

That’s so last spring.

That’s so Raven.

Lol wut?

(08/31/2011 23:05)

:P So… what do I have to do get you to go out with me.

That depends on what you mean by “go out”

I dunno. I’m not sure what you’re trying to cast but whatever it is I want to try out for the lead role.

Well I’m definitely not looking for a husband.

I didn’t mean it like that

I know, I was just saying. I’m not really into dating… right now at least. I think it’s kind of odl fashioned.

Old*

(08/31/2011 23:11)

You told me what you’re not looking for but not where I fit in.

Hopefully, my vagina.

Oh really. So, you’re looking for a what, fuck buddy?

If that’s what you want to call it.

Personally I don’t feel like I need a label just to do what I want to do.

I’m cool with that.

Of course you are. The only thing you know about me thus far is that I’m cute and like the doctor.

Well I could be your Rory.

I’d prefer if you were my Jack Harkness

Well I am bi.

Color me intriguged.

Hmm… that normally turns girls off. That was my clever way of throwing it out there.

I’ve munched enough muff in my life not to care how much pole you smoke. Plus I find it hot.

Maybe we could arrange something with my Ianto.

Only if I can be River Song.

That hair is so fucking sexy!

Ikr?

(08/31/2011 23:19)

Other than roleplay involving British sci-fi shows, are you into anything else?

Lol well I mean… yes. Obviously.

You’re not going to tell me?

Spoilers.

Well do you want to know what I’m into?

3 ways with other dudes?

-_-

Other than that.

Yes.

Well I love eating pussy.

I love the whole experience. Taste, smell, touch, color. all of it.

I don’t think I could eat enough pussy if I tried. Most of the girls I have been with are so self-conscious they can’t just lay back and enjoy the pleasure.

I know they say diamonds are a girl’s best friend but personally I’d much rather have scruffy man who enjoy nothing more than being shoulder deep in the pussy.

In my head I just pictures mr and ms Pacman kissing.

In my head I just pictured me squirting you in the face while you ferociously eat this pussy.

(08/31/2011 23:26)

 0.0 you squirt.?

Yea. That was my clever way of working it in. Some guys don’t like when I spring it on them

I’m all about it. My first girlfriend did it all the time. It was so fuckin sweet I couldn’t get enough.

So, when r u gonne get some of this pussy nut pie? Lol

I was ready to spread you across that ugly ass conference table and eat it like all of Gallifrey depended on it.

Also “pussy nut pie”… eww

brb

It’s from a RuPaul movie.

Should I take it that you’re into public sex? I’ve wanted to try that.

K

(08/31/2011 23:34)

K back

We can def make that happen.

Oh really?

Yeah. All day.

Are you just saying that cause ur horny

No. I’m sayin g it cause I’d do almost anything to get a taste of you.

Would you send me a pic of your dick?

Sent.

… Oh wow… so uh where you live at

You like it that much.

My puss jumped

Lol I’m in Munson

What apartment

206 where are you?

304

Munson?

Yep

No fuckin way

Do you wanna?

No doubt

Would it be slutty to come down without any panties?

Yes.

Make sure to leave your bra too.

Good thinking.

Do you have a fez?

Yes...

and a bowtie.

I think I like you. :P

I like you too...

(08/31/2011 23:50)

Hello?

Whatever you do, don’t fall in love with me.

Are you that good?

I’m not being funny. Guys like to catch feelings.

I think we r both adults.

We can deal with whatever happens.

(08/31/2011 24:01)

Are you really coming down?

Do you not want me to?

Of course I do.

Are you cool with my Ianto being here.

The more the merrier.

Bring condoms

The only thing I have that can fit you is a Hefty trash bag lol

We can work with that. Jk I have a fresh 12 pack.

I see… we’ll definitely need more. ;)

o.O

I think I just fell in love.

:(

Clearly you didn’t catch the sarcasm

(08/31/2011 24:21)

Get yo ass down here.

(08/31/2011 24:22)

Brb

someone’s at the door

(You are no longer signed in to chat.)

A Video To Give Us Hope As We Head Back To Class

God Loves Fags