Anal sex… the final frontier. Many people consider anal sex to be the ultimate in taboo intercourse. That’s part of the reason why anal sex has become such popular activity. Well that and the fact that it can feel really good.
With all of you crazy kids either enjoying or being curious about anal sex, I get a ton of questions. Here are the answers to every question I’ve ever received about anal sex and pleasure.
How many people have anal sex?
The reality is that anal sex is not nearly as special or rare as you’d like to think.
A 2010 survey of 5,200+ people ages 14 to 70 found that 32% of women have received penis in anus sex & 31.8% of men performed penis in anus sex during their lifetime.
Is it mainly gay men having anal sex?
Homosexual men have a reputation for being anally obsessed. Reality is quite a bit different.
The same study referenced above found that 5% of men received penis in anus sex. This is interesting because 6.3% of the men in their sample identified as homosexual or bisexual. If we assume that all the men who received anal sex are homosexual, then only 79% of gay men have experienced penis in anus sex. This is a much higher percentage than heterosexual men, but since the study had such a small number of gay men we don’t really get a good idea of their behaviors.
It’s also quite unreasonable to assume that only men who identify as gay have received anal sex. The study left out straight men that have experimented but don’t identify as gay. It also left out men who have experienced other anal stimulation with toys, tongues or fingers.
How risky is penis in anus sex?
It is the riskiest of all sex practices. The rectal area is very blood rich so it is much easier for you to contract viral diseases, like HIV & herpes. If you are having penis in anus sex it is recommended that you always wear a condom.
Why is anal play pleasurable?
If we’re speaking scientifically then there are thousands of nerve endings concentrated in the anus and rectum. Some studies have suggested that there are just as many nerve endings in your anus and rectum as there are in your genitals.
If we are speaking colloquially, well that is a totally different story. Some people like the pressure of having something in rectum. The sense of fullness and pressure can add to the pleasure of masturbation or intercourse. Women sometimes find that having something, like a butt plug, in their rectum during vaginal intercourse increases their pleasure.
Men have a prostate gland, which is where all the fluids and sperm collect before ejaculation. Stimulating that gland feels very pleasurable but also helps strengthen erections and increase the volume of ejaculations.
What does it feel like?
That’s difficult to explain because there are so many sensations. It’s is really warm. Probably warmer than any orifice you’ve felt before.
To a penis it feels slick, like a vagina but the anus and internal sphincters add something different to the mix. It has a bit more friction than you’re probably used to from the vagina or mouth. Sometimes with a penis or finger you can feel the person’s heartbeat, which is very intimate sensation. For the receptive partner there are often feelings of intense please, fullness, & pressure.
Will I like anal sex?
That is a question I cannot answer. Normally I tell people to think about the amount of pleasure they get from taking a poo. If you really enjoy it, then chances are you will really enjoy anal penetration.
The only way to know for sure is to play around with it. Start by using a finger or vibrator to massage the anus. If you find that pleasurable then try a tongue. If that works for you then try inserting a finger… then 2… then 3. Keep progressing forward as far as you feel comfortable.
Discomfort is normal for beginners but pain is never normal. If you feel pain stop immediately.
What can go wrong?
Well the most common problem is pain. Since it has so many nerve endings, it is very sensitive to pleasure and pain. It’s as sensitive as the nipples, testicles, and clitoris.
You could also have what’s called an anal fissure, which are tears in your anus. They are not life threatening, unless you have a problem with clotting. Most of the time they are so small you won’t notice. There is also a chance for hemorrhoids but those are not a major problem either.
How can I avoid pain?
The two best tips I can give you for successful and painless anal play are ridiculous mounts of time and ridiculous amounts of lubricant. For most people it takes a lot extra time to get comfortable with having something in their butt.
These are muscles and nerves that have spent decades doing one thing one way and suddenly you are asking it to do something completely different. The body is adaptive and will do pretty much whatever you ask it, but you have to give it time. Do not expect to go from anal virgin to fisting bottom overnight.
Make sure to trim your nails. Use glass or silicone toys. When inserting objects, push out. Those muscles open the anus and make insertion much easier.
Most importantly you need to relax. Tension makes your anus close tight, which is not very helpful when you’re trying to put a penis in it.
What about numbing creams?
It is not recommended that you use drugs, alcohol, poppers, or numbing creams. You can do a lot of damage to a very important organ if you deaden your senses. Plus, what’s the point of doing it, if you can’t feel anything?
I saw this video online of a guy with his butthole hanging out of his body. How can I avoid that?
I know that video and it is… terrifying.
What happened there is called rectal prolapse. It happens when the tissue that lines the rectum falls down into or sticks through the anal opening.
From the research I have done, anal sex is not one of the causes of a rectal prolapse. However, constipation, anal/pelvic injury, cystic fibrosis, malnutrition, pinworms, and whipworm infection are all listed as causes/risk factors.
To fix it all a doctor will have to do is push it back in. You will be out of commission for a couple of weeks but there shouldn’t be any permanent damage.
Isn’t it dirty back there?
No, not really. Your body is very effective at getting things out. If you are generally healthy, after you relieve your bowels there will be nothing left. We often think of the butt as a place that just holds crap until we let it out. But most of the time our rectums are free and clear.
If you are concerned about cleanliness you can use a water enema to help be certain that there is nothing left. However most of the time if you take a poop, and clean yourself thoroughly (with wipes or a shower, not toilet paper) you will be plenty clean.
When you take a shower, it’s not a bad idea to stick a soapy finger up there to check. Go light on the soap; it can be an irritant to your insides.
What about bacteria?
Every inch of the world is covered in bacteria. The bacteria in the human body are there to keep you healthy by fighting of outside germs. Don’t worry about it.
What does it taste like?
It shouldn’t taste like anything but maybe sweat or just skin. If it tastes like something you’re probably doing it wrong.
If you are not familiar with the taste of skin, lick your arm at the end of the day. That sweaty, salt, sweet, tangy flavor is basically the same all over your body.
How can I make it taste good?
It’s a body not a sandwich. It’s going to taste like skin. For some people, it’s an acquired taste. But it’s better to acquire it and be comfortable with it than require the something to block the flavor every time you want to munch some butt.
If the flavor is so disturbing that you can’t handle it, a flavored lube will help. Using things like syrup, jelly or whipped creams is not recommended. The sugar feeds the native bacteria and will cause bad things to happen… like an infection.