How to stop the burn of semen in your eyes

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Sexual mishaps are an unfortunate, and often hilarious, side effect of sex. Of all the things that could go wrong, my least favorite is that awkward moment when your partner's awesome gushing orgasm turns into a searing pain in your eye. It happens to the best of us, but in the moment, there is nothing worse. So, the question is, why does semen burn your eye and how can you stop the burn? The answer is simple, but to understand you have to know what semen is made of.

Acid, acid, acid, acid, acid... There are tons of acids in semen. When those acids mix with the water in your eyes, you're headed to irritation central. The same thing happens when you cut onions. Unfortunately, you can't comfortably suck a dick while it's submerged in water to prevent splatter, but you can do other things to avoid getting an eyeful of spunk.

It's simple, but the easiest way to avoid the burn is to not let cum on your face at all, but that's no fun. So, if you want to get a facial but don't want the searing pain, close your eyes. Even with eye's closed tighter than Hilary Clinton's snatch, you may still open your eyes to find you missed a drop and land yourself in a world of pain. The first of several unfortunate times it has happened to me, I rubbed my eye with the hand I'd just gotten cum all over because my eye lash had fallen in. I should have just let the damn eye lash stay there.

So, what does one do to stop the pain? Wash your eyes out, duh! You should be running to the bathroom faster than Lindsay Lohan runs away from sobriety. Make sure to wash your face first and keep your eyes closed when you do that, cum diluted in water will still burn. While you have your eyes closed don't squint, you are just squeezing it deeper into your eye. After you're face is generally clean, using cool water flush your eyes until the initial pain subsides. There is always going to be a dull ache after that type of trauma, but if you're not in pain you're fine. To get rid of the dull ache, try using Visine or another eye drop. They will help dilute anything left in your eye and may help you produce tears, which are made to clean your eyes out.

The mucous membrane in the eye is very thin and blood rich, so getting cum in your eye opens you up to all sorts of STIs and other infections. You are going to want to take measures to prevent the contraction of anything communicable your partner might have. If you happen to have an anti-biotic eye-drop, use that as directed until you can see a physician. I didn't ask my personal doctor about other forms of anti-biotic, so I can't recommend it. However, if you think you're at risk for contracting anything I would suggest you weigh your options and make a decision. Either way you need to see a doctor soon, eye infections are not sexy.

I’ve read suggestions online that say you should use baking soda mixed with water or olive oil to soothe your eye, they are fucking crazy. Olive oil will only add more acids and create an oil barrier between your eyeball and your tears, not good. Baking soda does not dissolve and you would end up having tiny particles scratching at your eyeball and the mucus membrane of your eye socket, which is also not good. Just use the method I’ve given you and you’ll be fine within minutes.

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