When setting up online profiles there is a lot to consider, and every decision you make is crucial. In real life people don’t like to be rude, so rejection is less common. However, on the internet, rejection comes so much faster and for far more arbitrary reasons than unemployment.
I’ve seen people be rejected online for having a weird hair color, too many pictures with their friends and family, and because, “that tie is so ugly!” It’s harsh, but that’s the reality that online anonymity has created. You could shy away from online dating because of the highly competitive marketplace. However, I think that with just a few simple tweaks you could bring yourself on under par with the competition and land the date you’ve been looking for.
When people see you in real life, they immediately asses and judge you based on what you look like. When people see you online, it is exactly the same. The only difference is that online you have an opportunity to make sure that you always look your best, and you should. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to set up a photo-shoot to get some good photos… but it helps. If you know someone who has photography skills, get them to help you out with a few good shots. If you don’t know anyone with photography skills then you can get some great photos in the moment. Say you’re looking extra good one night out with friends, why not take that glam opportunity to get a nice picture for your profile?
The pictures you use say a lot about your personality, make sure they say something nice. Stay away from duck lips, the stanky leg, bathroom mirror shots, and all those other ugly MySpace profile pic tropes. Try to have pictures of you enjoying your hobbies. You don’t want to have forty shots of you and your cats, but let people get a sense of the person you are. Make sure that your pictures are current; sure you looked cute at the prom but that was six years and twenty pounds ago, it’s time to move on. If you have a hard time judging which pictures to choose, try crowdsourcing. The photos I use for my online dating profiles are the same ones that, on Facebook, people tell me are nice. If you’re friends “Like” them then potential suitors should like them too.
My OkCupid profile was originally made for Let’s Talk About Sex purposes, hence the name. If I’d created it for personal reasons, I’d have chosen a much more personal name. Something that is personable, easy to pronounce and did not inadvertently announce to the world that I was a crazy stalker, when in fact I’m a total gentleman. Oddly, usernames are not a big deal breaker for most people, they’re generally over looked. Unless you’re HitlerWasRight12, CumGuzzlingWhore4Jesus, or NamblaMember_87 you don’t have much to worry about. Your username may not be very important, but you “about me” section is absolutely crucial!
Your “about me” is the entire meat of your online dating profile. It lets people know who you are, what you’re looking for and gives people an insight into your mind. You need to put a lot of work into the content of this section. The basic idea of writing an “about me” is to boil the entirety of who you are into easily digestible bullet points. Limit yourself to 500 words, 750 at the absolute most. You want to tell enough to for people to get to know you, but not so much that they get bored reading it. I understand that you’re an incredibly complex and intellectual person, but at this point no one cares. You can be a Zune (awesome, but complicated) all you want, but you’re “about me” should be an iPod (less awesome, but pretty).
Some common “about me” faux pas:
- Talk about your job, not your income.
- Be honest about what you’re looking for. If you want an LTR don’t go for someone who wants some casual sex, and vice versa.
- Don’t lie.
- Don’t talk about your car, unless you’re looking for a gold digger.
- Don’t talk about your exes, no one cares.
- I understand you like sex, but it’s a little crass to start out only talking about how big your dick is.
- Tell the truth if you have children, but don’t spend 300 words talking about them. This is about you.
- This is 2011 we have this wonderful thing called spell-check. Use it.
Once you’ve spellchecked and edited your profile to grammatical perfection, have a friend edit it for you. Even if your friends never tell you, there are certain things you do that people find to be… off putting. They’ll be able to pick out all those little oddities and help you put the finishing touches on your profile.
Depending on the dating site you’re on you may have a section where you describe yourself in stats, like height and weight. In this section, like all sections, it is important that you tell the truth. Lying will only make your date feel uncomfortable when you finally meet. If you don’t know, then find out; if you prefer not to say, then just leave those sections blank.
Managing your online dating life can seem like a daunting task, but it doesn’t have to be. If you keep them updated every three months or so, and continue to follow these simple guidelines, you can have one sexy and desirable profile.
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