I recently wrote a piece for the Let’s Talk About Sex column in The Eastern Echo that will never see the light of day, in its pages anyway. It was an 846 word clarification on my views about rape and humor. In that piece I simply stated that I think that we can use humor to help rape survivors deal with the trauma. Once my boss read the piece, it was immediately scrapped because it was deemed to be too controversial.
From the ensuing discussion, which was extremely tense and rather one-sided, I got the feeling that there was no way that I would ever be able to have that discussion, or any one like it, through the print medium. While I understood that the controversy may become too much to handle, I felt that shying away from the honest discussion showed a bit of cowardice.
I’m not calling my boss a coward. But I am saying that pulling the piece was a cowardly thing to do.
The creation of LTASEX was meant to work towards having those discussions that are too uncomfortable. I wanted to let the world know that it is okay to talk about the portions of our society that we tend to hide out of fear.
In bringing Let’s Talk About Sex to the pages of The Eastern Echo, I wanted to spread that message to an audience of people who need, desperately. I’m starting to realize that maybe I was too optimistic.
Things are so messed up in our culture. I’m trying so hard to be a beacon of sensibility for people who have always been surrounded by the fear that dictates an inordinate amount of our behavior. I’m trying to be the guy who can say that maybe rape doesn’t have to be a life altering experience. I’m trying to be the guy who can say that this is something we need to talk about. But after what happened with my article, I have begun to see that I don’t have the strength to handle this alone.
For a while I was floating high on the frictionless success I’d found while doing things on my own. I thought that I had really done something. I felt like what I was doing was right and the path that I was on was righteous. I still feel that way but I’m also feeling that it may be time for me to step back and take a look at my methods.
I don’t know where I’m going to go from here, which scares me. But the idea of turning back feels like the worst idea that I could possibly make. This is a very scary time for me but I feel that it may bring something great.