Bzzz Buddies: Pandy Personal Massager
If I’m telling the truth, the only reason I selected the Pandy Bzzz Buddies personal massager to review was because it was shaped like a panda. Again, if I’m being honest, that’s the only reason I’m keeping it around. No, it doesn’t suck. But, I just wasn’t impressed.
Bzzz Budies Pandy personal massager is a pocket rocket vibe that measures about 5 ¾ inches long. It’s a basic vibe with no frills, other than its design, which is completely adorable. I’m a big fan of cute, and Pandy has got that in abundance. But, it’s cute in the way that Domokun and Hello Kitty are cute, which may not be for everyone since it’s not “sexy” in the traditional sense.
When I said the device was simple I should have clarified by saying that it only has two settings: on and off. There are no fun settings or adjustable speeds which is unfortunate. But, some may enjoy it’s Apple like simplicity.
Other than the cute little panda bear with the gigantic eyes and tiny nose that I can’t stop petting like it’s an actual panda, the overall design of the Pandy is pretty basic.
It’s made from a glossy hard plastic that is non-porous phthalate-free. It’s a little short, but since it’s not waterproof, it’s not really made for insertion. The texture is extremely smooth. But, since it’s plastic that can be a bit sticky on sweaty skin and a bit too slippery on lube covered hands. The panda serves as a grip, and works pretty well for that purpose. But, only because of its ears and feet, the topper is still glossy plastic.
Although the Pandy is plastic, it has a pretty good build quality. It feels weighty, solid, and durable in your hand, which are all great qualities in a vibrator. However, I do have a few concerns about the long term durability of the exterior. The plastic is painted, which looks nice when you first buy it. But, I’ve only had it a few weeks and I’m noticing scratches start to build up on the panda. When I received him, the nose was already a bit scuffed, but that’s probably a packaging issue. If you want to keep this toy around for a while, I would recommend that you get a velvet toy bag to protect the paint.
Pandy requires a single AA battery, which is NOT included. That’s not so bad considering that for the full week that I used it, I didn’t have to replace the battery. If I had to guess, I would say that you should expect about 8hrs of battery life or more. Replacing the battery is not a labored task, you simply twist the panda to the right and separate the two halves. There is no cord to get damaged with repeated changings, which was one of my complaints about the Sex In The Shower Silicone Vibrator.
While I got the Pandy because it was cute, the performance is what really matters here. Unfortunately, this is where it falls flat. Pandy provides a medium strength vibration, which didn’t deaden my nerves with extended use, but didn’t rock my socks either. The performance was simply blah. It didn’t add anything to my masturbatory experience that a hand cupping my balls or a rubbing my nipples couldn’t accomplish for much less than $30.
I tried each of the 4 textured caps that it comes with. But, they none of them made any real difference to my experience.
I think the biggest issue with the Pandy’s performance was the wild and decentralized nature of its vibration. While holding the panda shaped topper, your hand gets as much vibration as the opposite end you hold to your body. I thought that was really odd as the motor is located at the very tip of the shaft. I tried to touch the length of it to my body but nothing really helped.
Most annoying among my many gripes with the Pandy, is that it’s freaking loud! Not only is it loud but the sound penetrates doors, pillows, mattresses, and windows. If you have roommates or live with your parents this is not the device for you.
Bottom Line: Overall, the Pandy Bzzz Buddies personal massager gets a resounding “meh” from me. However, that doesn’t mean that it’s not worthy of someone’s hard earned money. If you prefer a medium vibration over the jack hammer that I tend to like, then you may enjoy Pandy’s understated buzz. If you’re a fan of kawaii, like moi, then you might enjoy it just for that aspect of it. But, if you’re going that route then you might want to buy all four designs that, our sponsor, Eden Fatasys has for sale. They’re meant to be the Pokémon of sex toys, so collect ‘em all!