In many ways, being single is a great advantage to being paired.
For instance, if I want to get drunk and slutty or leave my head and my heart on the dance floor, I can. I get the freedom to explore and try anything I want without needing to consider someone else.
However, there also downsides to being single. These revolve around not having someone in your corner when you need them or having the empty side of the bed. In my case, none of this effects me. (That is a lie.)
In no way am I looking to be paired, but I am not against being paired either. At this point in my life, like many of you, I am focused. I am working towards my degree, building a career, working on passion projects (like this one) and making sure that I am happy with myself and the people around me. I am not concerned with dating.
Often I see people in relationships and look upon them with envy. I am not envious of their love and everything else, instead I am envious of the regular sex that I hope they're having.
I was talking to an older woman at my favorite coffee shop and we got on the subject dating. She told me about how in her 20 something youth she didn't see their being an option. She finished high school and went to college to find a husband.
She explained, "You kids are so lucky that you have a choice... I went to college and found a husband. I went to the kitchen and found three children. I went to the nursery and found that this life was not the one I wanted. Unfortunately by then I was stuck."
At 62, she is now realizing her true potential. What is saddest about her story is that I see so many of us living or heading towards this life today. The chronically paired, the desperately single, and the living for the ring are all heading towards the world of lifelong dissatisfaction.
We are freaking lucky! We have the ability and social approval to go out, build a life, and have experiences, fuck up, try again, fuck up some more, see the sights, smell the scents, and taste the tastes of life. Neither you nor I, at this point in our life, should be worried about marriage or any serious dating. You should be having sex, lots of sex with lots of different people. You should try dating, flirting, exploring, and experiencing other people.
We have a limited amount of time before we enter the real world and lose all the freedom college allows. Take advantage of our unique situation. I guarantee that if you do, you will be a happier 40 year old. You won't look back at your life say “I should have, I could have.” You will look back and say “Wow shouldn't have done that one but damn it was fun.”
To be honest, there are nights when I sit at home alone scrolling through my cell phone’s contacts thinking about how nice it would be to have someone to cuddle with. There are nights when I would rather send a text to a loved one than troll the internet for porn or a hook up. Those nights are rare. Most nights I go to sleep content, single, happy and loving my life. I have good friends, good laughs, good food, and good sex. What else does 22 year old me need?
I know I'm going to get responses that label me a hippie. Let me be clear I have never and will never be associated with any hippitry. Hippies are jobless, unwashed heathens and they have no place in our society. I am just a person who understands that the media sucks, and some of our parents suck! The media bombards kids with the ideas of marriage as the ideal but doesn't teach us how to get there. They also refuse to acknowledge that maybe marriage isn't for everyone; that maybe there is more to life. This is why we have to take the time to figure out who we are and where one or more romantic partners may fit into our lives, if at all.
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