Now that every iPhone/Android/Palm/Blakberry is rocking a 3+ megapixel camera, and almost every smartphone on the planet is shooting in at least 720p, it makes sense that “sexting” (I hate that word) has taken off. I know I for one am inundated with all types of crazy requests; just 20 minutes ago, I got texted, “Send me a picture of your giant ass covered in baby oil”. . . I declined. This may seem like an odd request, but to me it’s par for the course. I’m sure there are quite a few of you who have been in similar situations at some point. So today we are going to step your digital sex game up a few notches with some tips and tricks.
I love when people send me nude pictures, it’s one of the highlights of my days, but I absolutely hate when they look like this.
Sure, this chick is hot and if she sent me pictures, or video or her phone number I wouldn’t mind, but the grainy bathroom cell phone camera MySpace pic should have died off, along with Tom, years ago. Also, people, understand that duck lips are not as cute as you think they are. You look like someone just dropped a deuce that no one is acknowledging.
When taking a picture of yourself, it is better to go with a point and shoot for a body shot, or just take pic of your view with the cell phone. A little tip here for people to consider is that the HTC Evo comes with a built-in kickstand. It is meant for video conferencing or watching video, but it can also be used as a mono-pod so you can get some hands free sexting action. The new iPhone 4 has a square body, which allows it to stand up so that can be used too.
Since we are using cell phones with tiny light sensors, most of images are not going to be super clear, but as long as you turn the lights on and are in a room with white walls you should have plenty of light.
After you've taken a shower is the best time to take a picture; wet skin looks super smooth and moisturized. That comes across in pictures and makes people want to touch your skin. Also, a shower just makes you feel clean and sexy which may make for a better picture taking experience.
When it comes to video, you have the same worries as a photo. You need a lot of light to get rid of shadows and the graininess of shitty cell phone cameras with tiny light sensors, and make sure that your skin is well moisturized so you’re not all ashy and dull looking on screen. It rubs the lotion on the skin or else you risk looking like a dust bunny. If you’re really invested in recording your sexcapades, I would suggest that you spend $100 on a Flip Video HD or the Kodak Zii. If you use an Evo or iPhone 4 there’s no need for the extra camera, as both of those shoot 720p at 30fps. (Their video looks purty.)
O.K., now for the slutty digital elephant in the room. . . privacy. It’s a major issue when talking about the internet and your digital life. One of the biggest problems with privacy is you. Accidentally emailing your sex tape is way more common than someone stealing it. You will never hear me say that I am against “sexting,” or expressing your sexuality privately with your partner(s). However, there are some things you can do protect yourself.
1. Obscure or cut off your face. I am sure your partner knows what you look like well enough. Your naughty bits should be enough.
2. Make sure that any identifying marks, such as tattoos or scars, are not in the shot.
3. Manually delete the photos in the recipient’s phone.
4. If you are using a smartphone, search for a security app, like TigerText for iPhone.
5. Every cell phone and computer has a security feature that can require a security code for operational use and can force a memory wipe if anyone steals it.
6. Have a code word to use with your partner(s). You can use it to make sure you are sending the pictures to the right person.
7. Get the files off your camera or phone. You are much more likely to lose your cell phone or camera than your laptop or desktop.
Using these tips, along with your own personal discretion, you will be able to become an amateur porn star in no time. Happy fucking.